4.6.16

I was awoken at 3:30 in the morning on April 6, 2016 by Erica. "Honey, I think my water broke" she said. This was it, after more than 9 months of preparation, our son was finally ready to join our family.

I think she's in love.

But this was not the time we wanted him by.
For the past 8 months, we had been told that "Baby Tanner" would come around March 31, 2016. Our lives were revolving around this date. We made sure everything was in order, from work-time off to making sure the crib was set up. We were prepared 2 weeks before the March 31 due date. However, those long days came and went. March 31 came and went. April was upon us, and still, the baby was not here.
This was hard for me. It was harder for Erica. She wanted the baby to be here. Each passing day was a struggle.
We finally went to Erica's weekly doctors appointment on 4.5.16. He told us that the baby's head may not be engaged, and that he still hadn't dropped. He was concerned that Erica would have to get a cesarian section. He wanted a second opinion and that same day sent Erica to the radiologist to get a sonogram.
Erica was distraught. She had been planning on a natural birth, and now, after an opinion from her OBGYN and radiologist, both agreed that Erica was above average for getting a C-Section compared to other women. They also noted that the longer the baby went over the due date, the chance of losing the baby tripled every week.
This type of news was very difficult for Erica. Her plans had been thrown out the window. I knew that Erica needed me that day. I took the rest of the day off of work (I was only going to take the morning off). I took her to one of her favorite places to eat, Twisted Root Burger. This with the reassurance from our doctor sister-in-law Ima, helped us through the rest of the day.

At her last check-up

Last hurrah at Twisted Root Burger on SMU Blvd.

That evening, Erica began crying before going to bed. "This is not how we planned it. I don't want a C-Section". Erica was very nervous about the C-Section. It is a major surgery that leads to longer recovery time. She was so distraught, that she didn't fall asleep until 1 a.m.

Less than 2 hours later, Erica's water broke at 3 a.m. She waited 30 minutes before waking me up!

We were ready to go, we had our bags at the door and began to time her contractions. Her contractions were very mild, but they were happening every 3 to 4 minutes. We were told to head to the hospital when the contractions were 5 minutes apart or lower. After some time, Erica made the decision to head to the hospital. We left a 4:40 a.m. Once there, Erica checked into triage. The nurse checked and said she was only 1 cm dilated. Usually, they don't admit you if you are only 1 cm dilated, but because her water had broken, they admitted her, for fear and risk of an infection if she went back home.

Erica after being admitted to the hospital.

The excitement was contagious. We were having our baby! Erica was brought to her delivery room. The nurses began prepping her, but more importantly, they told her to relax and conserve her energy. Erica and I were too excited. We set up our scentsy with the aroma called "Zen Garden". I brought my portable music player and played my "Relax" playlist from Spotify.
We were ready.

Scentsy in action!

What we didn't realize was our excitement would turn into a slow march. Little did we know, but from being admitted to beginning of the pushing, we would wait 16 hours.
The first few hours were easy, at least, that's what Erica told me. It wasn't until around 11 a.m. that Erica's contractions got harder to bear. It was at this time, that Erica decided that she would try the recently introduced Nitrous Oxide mixture (aka Laughing Gas) to help ease the pain.
The nurse who specialized in Nitrous Oxide, entered our room and set up the contraption. She also helped teach the presiding nurse about it as this was the Nurse Lydia's first patient to ever use it. (Side Note, we had 4 different nurses during our stay in the deliver room. Calle was there for the first 2 hours before her shift ended at 7 a.m. Then we had Lydia, then Michelle, and finally Brooke. Brooke was an all star).
Once the Nitrous Oxide was set up, they gave Erica a mask to breathe it in. Erica tried to breath it in, and almost passed out. This wasn't because of the gas, it was because the oxygen part of the mix wasn't plugged it! Whoops! Well, they quickly saw the error and fixed it. Erica began breathing in the mixture for about a minute or two, until she was giggling to herself. It was working!

The Laughing Gas helped Erica for the first half of the day. Every time she would have a contraction, she would breath it in. This didn't necessarily make the pain go away, but it made her not really care about the pain in general. Her contractions were easier to contain.

Around 12 p.m., Erica's parents Grayson and Malinda arrived at the hospital. They were a much needed source of comfort for both of us. They were able to be in the delivery room for the latter half of the day, ensuring us and telling fun stories about the birth of their children. I think it was great to have them there. Even though I was Erica's coach and mentor, it was still my first rodeo as well. I had no idea what to expect, and having adults that had gone through this before helped calm our anxiety.

Mother and daughter.

Eventually, as the hours moved by, the Laughing Gas just wasn't strong enough for Erica. She spoke with the nurse and told her she wanted an epidural. Around 3 p.m., the anesthesiologist arrived. We were told that no visitors, including the father, were allowed in the room while the epidural was being given to Erica. We decided to take our late lunch at this time. One of the great perks about Presbyterian Hospital Dallas is that they have a Chik-Fil-A. I knew that this might be my only time to eat the rest of the day, so I stuffed myself up.

When we returned, Erica said she felt much better. The epidural was applied perfectly. Erica still had some control in her legs, but the contraction pains were substantially less. Erica's spirits were high. She was getting ready. Once the epidural had been applied, they checked to see how far along she was, it was 4 p.m. and the nurse said she was 1 cm, but she then made her 3 cm. This is still well short of being ready. We were again disappointed that Erica was not progressing as fast as she had hoped. She was sure she was much farther along due to the contractions coming on faster and stronger.

Once again, we were told to wait. No one ever told us how boring this process could be.  We continued to wait.

Eventually, Erica and I had to get some rest. We decided we would wait to take a nap until the doctor checked her. He came around 6:30 p.m. He said Erica was progressing slowly and was now 4 cm dilated. He said he was optimistic that pushing would begin right before midnight. With that in mind, and feeling excited, Erica and I decided to get some rest.


I was awoken at around 8:30 p.m. with the nurse saying, "You are complete and 10 cm dilated! It's time"! I thought I was dreaming still. Had she really moved that quickly along in 2 hours? Commotion followed. Our nurse was running in and out, putting together the final setup. Erica was pretty excited too, I was able to snap this final photo of Erica as a pregnant future mother. She was ready.

I'm ready!

And it began, at 9 p.m. Erica began pushing. I was in the room with the nurse and Erica's mother Malinda. Grayson was asked to leave, it was the hospital policy to have only 2 people in the room that weren't staff.
Erica pushed, and boy did she push. After the first 10 minutes, Erica told me, "I kind of like this, it's like I'm doing crunches, and I'm good at crunches". Erica was enjoying this! Well, that was shortly lived as time progressed. At about 9:15 p.m., they had Erica rest through a few contractions as Brooke, our nurse, said the baby was dipping. This means the babies heart-rate dropped substantially. From 150 BPM to the low 70's. By allowing the baby to rest, he was able to reestablish his heart-rate again. Erica was then given oxygen to help her out in the final minutes of pushing. The doctor came in, to facilitate the last few pushes. I have to say, I almost threw up at one point. It wasn't the sight of blood, amnionic fluid, feces etc. It was the smell. No one had ever told me to be aware of the strong smell at birth. I quickly turned away, took a breath and got over it. If Erica could do what she was doing, I could man-up with a little bit of smell. Erica continued to push. 3 more times. 2 more times. 1 more time. With each push, the crown of the baby's head grew larger and larger. It was finally time.

At 9:40 p.m., our son was born. It is hard to put into words the emotion and feelings I had at that moment. Overwhelmed? No. I would have to say it was pure, adulterated joy, bliss, a perfect happiness.
James Grayson Tanner was finally here!

Notice is weight in the background. 

Quickly they placed James on Erica to get instant skin to skin contact. However, after only a moment, the doctor and nurses started to say "Let's hear the cry get a little louder. I was allowed to cut the umbilical cord to James. Right after, they took him away to take his measurements, clean him up, and just make sure his breathing got on track. James weighed in at 7 lbs 11 oz, and was 20 and 3/4 in long! The nurse said to me, "His head popped out and he kept coming out"!

I went to the waiting room and invited Erica's father Grayson back. When he came into the room, Erica and I announced that James middle name would be after him. He told us he was so taken aback and touched, that he could barely get a word out. Malinda and Grayson were asked to leave the room shortly after so Mom and Dad could experience the "Golden Hour". Erica and I were immediately in love. James fell asleep on mom's chest, he had just gone through a lot. He was a champion along with my wife Erica in the whole process.

Our love is pure for our son. We did not realize that you could have so much love and commitment to a person in so little time.
Was the wait worth it? You bet.

Hello world.

Moms first real meal since delivery.

Already sucking his thumb.

My first picture with James.

My favorite picture of my beautiful family.

View from our room at Presbyterian Hospital.

Our room!

We're home!

Baby James bed.

He loves his car trips.

First tummy time.

Grandma helping burp James.